The Most Popular Posts of the Month: February

Time for that monthly summary of what got your attention last month here at The Producer’s Perspective:

And . . .

Dear Colleague,

I’ve been working on this email for several minutes. I love the headline of your new post, and I hope to get to read it soon. My agent wants you to sign a NDA before you finish reading this dramedy email that our mutual friend Hans Schmittingheimer recommended I write. Really, I don’t care about your blog, but do you want to invest in my new show? It’s a classic dramedy with only small issues with the opening number, the act break, and the finale. Good news, though. There is no problem with the “I Want” song. To be fair, this is largely because there is no “I Want” song in my amazing new show. I find “I Want” songs to be superfluous and overdone. I would compare it to one of your shows, but who has time to go to theatre when they are so busy writing an Emmy-award winning Broadway musical, right? I mean, I know you are lead producer of “Hamiltown” which I would totally go see, but have you ever tried getting a house seat for that show? I mean I don’t think even someone popular, like, um, Lin-Manuel Transmission Miranda has enough clout to get tickets. Anyway, we both know you want to read my script. So, if you could externally validate me by telling me you want to read my script, then I will send you my script for you to read. We will make more money than Stephen Schwartz, who, quite frankly, is a bit overrated, and a one-hit wonder. How anyone can make a hit show about a candle is beyond me. Did he wakeup one day and make a rhyme list? Sicked, dicked, hicked, licked, licked, licked…I could on, but my dear colleague, I am pretty sure you get the point. You will probably want to print out this email and frame it in your office, because I humbly submit you will never get another email query quite like this one. While we are on the subject, we should trademark “quermailery.” Send me the money, and I will do the paperwork. It’ll be win-win, colleague!!!!!

 

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